I’m writing this because I want to warn other girls who might be as naïve as I was. A few weeks ago, I made a mistake that nearly changed my life forever. I was home alone, bored, scrolling on my phone, and stumbled upon some conversations online that got me curious about my body. I didn’t know who to ask, and I definitely wasn’t going to talk to my parents.
That’s when I saw a pen on my desk. I don’t even know what I was thinking. It seemed harmless, small, and… I guess in that moment, I just wanted to “try.” I can’t explain it any better than that.
At first, it didn’t hurt much, just felt strange. But within seconds, I felt this sharp, burning pain deep inside me. I panicked and pulled it out, thinking it was over. But it wasn’t. Over the next hour, the pain got worse. By the next morning, I could barely stand up. My lower stomach throbbed, I was bleeding, and I felt hot all over, like I had a fever.
My parents found me curled up in my room and rushed me to the hospital. The doctors took me in immediately for an examination. I was terrified. Lying on that hospital bed, I could see the disappointment and worry in my parents’ eyes.
The diagnosis was worse than I expected — the pen had caused internal injuries, and bacteria had already started an infection that could have spread to my bloodstream if we’d waited longer. They had to do emergency surgery to remove damaged tissue and clean the infection.
I stayed in the hospital for almost a week. The first few nights, I cried myself to sleep, not just from the pain, but from the shame. I felt stupid, embarrassed, and angry at myself. The nurses told me they had seen cases like mine before — foreign objects causing permanent damage, even infertility. That hit me hard.
When I was finally discharged, the doctor sat me down and said something I’ll never forget:
“Your body isn’t something to experiment with using random objects. One wrong move can take away things you can never get back.”
If you’re reading this, please don’t think “It won’t happen to me.” That’s exactly what I thought. Curiosity is normal, but doing something dangerous to your body is not worth the risk. If you have questions about yourself, talk to someone you trust or look for safe, medical information.
I’m lucky to be alive, and I’ll carry this scar — both inside and outside — for the rest of my life. I’m sharing this because I don’t want any other girl to go through what I did. One small, reckless decision almost cost me my health, my future, and maybe even my life.
