Despite clearly identifying as a man, he says the experience made him feel invisible and misunderstood. Now he’s speaking out about the challenges he faced and what this moment meant to him as a father. Want to see the photos and emotional video?
Using a person’s preferred name and pronouns is a basic form of respect; however, gender norms often lead to mistakes, especially in medical settings. This was a deeply personal issue for Bennett Kaspar-Williams , a 37-year-old transgender man who gave birth to his son, Hudson, by cesarean section in October 2020. Despite clearly identifying as male and using he/them/his pronouns, hospital staff repeatedly referred to him as “mother,” causing him great emotional distress during an already vulnerable time.
Kaspar-Williams began her gender transition in 2014, after coming out as trans in 2011. Although she underwent breast surgery, she chose to keep her genitals intact, which allowed her to carry a pregnancy to term. While having a child brought her immense joy, the constant gender shift during pregnancy and childbirth made the experience much more difficult. Even with male gender markers on medical forms, the staff’s default assumptions were still anchored in the traditional idea that only women give birth.
Since becoming a father, Kaspar-Williams has spoken about the need to decouple childbirth from gender identity. He emphasizes that not all people who give birth are women, and not all women can or choose to have children. He explained that his pregnancy dysphoria stemmed solely from being labeled as a “mother,” a role he never identified with. For him, the decision to become pregnant only made sense when he was able to mentally separate the physical act of childbirth from societal expectations about femininity.
Her story resonates with that of Freddy McConnell , another trans man who gave birth in 2019 and was the subject of a documentary. McConnell, who has struggled with gender dysphoria since childhood, said transitioning allowed him to fully enjoy life. When he decided to have a baby to maintain a biological bond, he took a pragmatic approach, saying he was using his body’s capabilities to achieve a goal. Unlike Kaspar-Williams, McConnell said the hospital staff was respectful and empathetic, making his birth experience powerful and affirming.
